Ah, the case of the missing pants! It seems like even in the depths of the Earth's core, there's no escaping fashion crimes. Who would have thought that amidst all the action and adventure, someone would stoop so low as to steal poor Jason Gridley's pants? Perhaps it was a mischievous creature with a penchant for fashion, or maybe Burroughs just wanted to inject some humor into his story.
Speaking of humor, in the movie Tarzan and His Mate (1934), the comical chimp, Cheetah, steals Jane’s clothing while she skinny-dips. That crazy simian had quite the sense of style! But, I digress. Let's get back to our missing plot point.
Pulp writers worked fast, sometimes causing missing plot points or adding simple things to move the story forward or fill space. Even Raymond Chandler, who worked slowly and painstakingly, missed a beat in his first novel The Big Sleep. During the 1946 film adaptation, Howard Hawks (along with Leigh Brackett and William Faulkner) faced uncertainty regarding whether Owen Taylor, a character in the story, had committed suicide or was killed.. They asked Chandler directly, who relayed the exchange in a 1949 letter to a friend. "They sent me a wire ... asking me, and dammit I didn't know either"
Poor Jason Gridley’s pants predicament begins in Chapter Ten. After surviving a near drowning, he scrambles to safety, discovering eggs to nourish his hunger and a short distance away...
“…a low stunted tree, and having eaten, he carried the three remaining eggs to this meager protection from the prying eyes of soaring reptiles and birds of prey. Here he removed his clothing, hanging it upon the branches of the tree where the sunlight might dry it, and then he lay down beneath the tree to sleep, and in the warmth of Pellucidar's eternal noon he found no discomfort.”
Here we have the setting, which provides a few important facts to consider as we move toward the crime. The tree stands alone; it is not part of a forest or jungle. It grows low enough to the ground that Gridley feels that positioning himself under it will protect him from an aerial attack. Lastly, he hangs his wet items on multiple branches for drying. That last statement could be a valuable clue. On to the crime’s aftermath.
“How long a time he slept he had no means of estimating, but when he awoke he was completely rested and refreshed. He was imbued with a new sense of self-confidence as he arose, stretching luxuriously, to don his clothes. His stretch half completed, he froze with consternation—his clothes were gone! He looked hastily about for them or for some sign of the creature that had purloined them, but never again did he see the one, nor ever the other.”
In the tradition of the classic locked room mystery, the theft of Gridley’s attire rates high. No sounds wake him, and as he states, no tracks are visible in the area. Standing naked, he inspects the area more closely. There must be a clue!
“Upon the ground beneath the tree lay a shirt that, having fallen, evidently escaped the eye of the marauder. That, his revolvers and belts of ammunition, which had lain close to him while he slept, were all that remained to him.”
So, dear reader, what are we to make of this situation? The culprit has left behind a shirt, valuable weapons, and purloined only a single pair of pants. What could be the motivation for this deed? Poirot would tell us, “It is the brain, the little gray cells on which one must rely. One must seek the truth within--not without." Why monsieur, the possibilities include:
Someone playing a prank
Someone poor and in need
Someone in need of a disguise
Someone intent on creating misfortune
Could one of these scenarios solve our mystery? We must consider our location- Pellucidar. During our adventures at the Earth’s core, have we met anyone with a sense of humor?
Tomar: Great Carb, what game does the diplodocus like to play with gilaks?
Carb: I do not know.
Tomar: Squash
The answer is obvious - No. It is all about survival, so we can discard a search for Buster Keaton. As far as clothes go the most important fashion accessory is footwear, so items two and three seem unreasonable. Then misfortune. It's unlikely that stealing clothes would cause any harm given the issues at the Earth's core.. There we have it. None of the theories fit the circumstances, so we must dig deeper.
Clothes were blown away
Animal took them
Viewing this as a serious matter, we must rule out the wind. Trousers are much heavier than shirts and would have hung firm against most reasonable gusts. While an animal as a thief rates much higher in the annals of fiction. Fauna the Jungle Girl in the Cavewoman Color Special while taking a waterfall shower has her uniform stolen by a flying creature. Using that logic, a thipdar might have snatched Jason’s britches. Seeing the dangling sleeves and legs of the attire moving in the breeze, it might have believed a human meal nested among the branches. In fact, in the previous chapter, we are witness to one of these creatures catching Tarzan.
“….quite suddenly and with a speed incomprehensible in a creature of its tremendous size, wheeled like a sparrow hawk and dove straight at Tarzan's back. So quickly did the creature strike that there could be no defense. The ape-man felt sharp talons half buried in his naked flesh and simultaneously he was lifted from the ground.”
Further supporting this theory are the eggs.
“Upon a bleak summit they had robbed a thipdar's nest of its eggs and the three were eating when Thoar became suddenly alert and listening. To the ears of the ape-man came faintly a sound that resembled the dismal flapping of distant wings.”
If we review Gridley’s account, we discover.
“In a water worn rocky hollow he found a nest of eggs that had withstood the onslaught of the elements. The nature of the creature that had laid them he did not know; nor whether they were the eggs of fowl or reptile did he care. They were fresh and they were food and so large were they that the contents of two of them satisfied his hunger.”
Now I sense you remain a little skeptical. Well, a touch of skepticism is a good thing. Otherwise, you end up believing in everything–UFOs, elves, income tax rebates, and a Sagoth styling his way across Pellucidar in a pair of safari knickers. So let us tackle a few minor questions regarding our theory.
Why the pants and not the shirt?
Most likely, as the pteranodon approached, the wind created by its flapping wings blew the shirt free, leaving only the pants to capture.
Why didn’t Jason wake up? Don’t these creatures make a lot of noise?
This remains a good question and a true kink in our solution. Thipdars are not quiet in flight and create a loud and angry hiss when attacking. Yet, there are many accounts from travels in Pellucidar of sessions of deep sleep. David Innes himself recounts a catnap in which his weapons were stolen while he snoozed. Jason was extremely tired, and maybe extremely lucky.
Is this the solution to the mystery at the Earth’s core? The more scholarly I am sure would offer far more thoughtful explanations for this event. Sherlock Holmes would say, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Is there a more unbelievable answer? I leave that to your imagination.
In P.G. Wodehouse’s The Code of the Woosters, the main character Bertie asks his valet Jeeves, “Do trousers matter?” Jeeves answers, “The mood will pass, sir.”
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